How to Live Like a True Greek
It's pretty simple really. To truly live like a Greek, follow these simple rules and ways of life...
1. Own a Dog Who Only Understands Greek
The family dog should only respond to Greek orders.
2. Serve Garlic as a Main Meal
Garlic goes in everything. Garlic breath – what’s that?
3. Call Home Every Day (Preferably Multiple Times)
If you don't call your Yiayia for 24 hours, she will assume that you've been kidnapped or murdered. Call home every day to check-in. Two to three times a day.
4. Never Go Hungry
In a Greek home, seven meals a day is the norm and family members will often comment that you are looking skinny. When they thrust extra portions your way, eat up.
5. Go to Church
If you don't, heaven forbid, your Yiayia will never forgive you.
6. Know All of the Family Recipes
Of course, Yiayia's cooking is the best! Spend all the time you can in the kitchen watching how and what she cooks, and one day you’ll absorb the delicious recipes which have been passed down through the generations.
7. Have a Saint Name
Even if your first name is Norman, your family should only call you by your saint name. That’s what Jesus would have wanted.
8. Yell Loudly
Yelling is good; there's no room for small voices. Tell your friends and family to “speak up” - in your shout-y voice, of course.
9. Have Enough Relatives to Found a Small Civilization
You should be acquainted with every member of your family, even the most distant members, and you should try to see them all regularly. Make sure you have at least 20 family members waiting for you at the airport, and another 130 coming to your birthday party. Your wedding? 500 invites, at least.
10. Get Married Young and Have Babies
If you're 25 years old and haven't married yet, your parents will be fretting. At every opportunity, they will be trying to set you up with a “nice, Greek boy”, and you'll be expected to have lots of babies. So get on eligiblegreeks.com, pronto.
11. Make the Sign Of The Cross the Right Way
There are people who know the right way to make a sign of the cross, and people who know the wrong way. Get this right! (Anyone who isn't Greek Orthodox falls into the latter category.)
12. Keep a Spotless Home
The home is a Greek family's pride and joy, and it's constantly spotless. Schedule cleaning into your diary, and add it to your list of hobbies.
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